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Sep 29, 2010

Nobody asked me but...


Category: General

Is President Box’o'rocks a Muslim? Some people might have thought so last week, but not anymore — not now that he has hit the campaign trail with Jesus at his side. I haven’t seen such a outright display of religiosity since Bubba used to be photographed on the steps of the church, holding his Bible, and glancing at his watch because he didn’t want to be late for lunch with Monica.

If this keeps up, the next time Obama shows up, they’ll skip Hail to the Chief and instead play Onward Christian Soldiers.

I hate waiters and waitresses — (ooops, sorry, waitstaff) — who respond to everything with “No problem.” Yeah, children, there is a problem, namely why are you too dumb to say Thank you or You’re welcome? Or am I just getting old and cranky?

So Lebron James. If he had wanted money, he could have stayed in Cleveland and owned the city. If he wanted headlines, he could have gone to New York. If he had wanted to be the only big fish in the pond, he could have gone most anywhere. Instead he passed on money and headlines and being the largo al factotum, and went to Miami where he’s going to just be one of three superstars. And why? Because he thought this was his best chance to win championships. Now he has been voted one of the six most disliked athletes in America. Stupid. Since when is it a sin to want to win? There’s too much sports on television and so, having to fill up that much time, there are too many nitwits flapping their jaws constantly. Bring back dominoes. 

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