I personally regard Donald Trump as one of the most useless carbon life forms on Planet Earth. He’s a tasteless buffoon, a publicity hound, and maybe the world’s worst businessman.
But, as they say, even a stopped clock is right twice a day. And now perhaps it’s the Donald’s turn.
First of all, Trump has joined the birthers, casting doubts upon the citizenship of President Box’o'rocks (Bless his holy name.) Trump wants to see the real Obama birth certificate, not some dollar-store version of one. I’ll leave that to him; I don’t have a horse in that race. But just today Trump upped the stakes when he said that Box’o'rocks never wrote “his” best selling book, Dreams of My Father. Instead, Trump says, it was written by Bill Ayers, revolutionary extraordinary and dear close personal friend of the Messiah. And in this case, common sense and literary analysis must tell us all that Trump is absolutely right…and Obama’s supposed writing abilities are a fraud — actually just like everything else in his life.
Box’o'rocks (Bless his holy name) has written nothing. In law school he managed one small article that no one remembers. Apart from that, here — presented for your viewing pleasure — is his other literary achievement, a poem called “Underground” and it goes:
Under water grottos, caverns
Filled with apes
That eat figs.
Stepping on the figs
That the apes
eat, they crunch.
The apes howl, bare
Their fangs, dance,
Tumble in the
Musty, wet pelts
Glistening in the blue.
Sure. And from there, it’s barely a step to the NY Times best seller list for “an outstanding literary achievement.” Pardon me while I fwow up.
I don’t even mind so much that President Puss-in-boots is an anti-semite nincompoop, bent on destroying the United States, and that he has bankrupted us and made us laughing stocks all around the world. Maybe I could put up with that…but the idea of a guy pretending to be a writer and not giving his ghostwriter any credit…well, that goes beyond the pale.
We haven’t seen anything that awful since President Kennedy “wrote” Profiles in Courage and won a Pulitzer Prize, while quietly sending royalty checks to his ghost, Ted Sorenson.
Maybe the rule is when you see a Democrat on a book tour, you’re in better company sticking with Donald Trump.